Angry Beaver Den

2002-08-29T14:44:00.000-04:00

Oh Merciful Bea Arthur!

Someone with the screenname "WW-Discrimination" is whining about the lack of gay-lesbian and Canadian avatars. You know, those cutesy pictures in everyone's autosig. I admit, I have a cat (love my cats), kid (love UberBoy), and car (love Passat). On my ezboard account, I have Cosmo the fairy.

Weight Watchers has a very limited selection of avatars but do you see me pouting because they don't have one for atheists? Even though they have one for religious people (a person with their arms in the air, surrounded by light)? Hell no.

I do agree, they need a Canadian flag. However, I am an honourary Canadian by virtue of my love for Dave Foley, Barenaked Ladies, and a longing for Tim Hortons altho I've never had a TH donut (soon, possibly? If the CAD can convince her dad to drive through SE VA).

Some people really need to get out more often and get fresh air.

2002-08-27T07:54:00.000-04:00

I'm so grrrr'd!

I bought a new Thinner scale last Tuesday afternoon. Dh and I scalehopped several before picking this $40 machine. I was majorly grrr'd when I weighed 198 but he reminded me, "You're wearing clothes and shoes, you just ate lunch, and you drank a lot of water."

The Thinner's been living next to the old Sunbeam dial scale for the past week. I wanted to WI on both this morning. I know the Thinner is accurate because I stepped on it with and without a 3 lb dumbbell.

SHIT!!! It's two pounds heavier. The Sunbeam weighed me at 188.5, the Thinner at 190.5.

So I need to adjust my weights two pounds up. I didn't loose anything this week; I think it's due to TOM around the corner because I'm tracking this on my own weight spreadsheet. The pattern I'm seeing is zero loss/gain right before Auntie Flo arrives.

It's just so frustrating because I upped my gym work-outs (including incorporating weight training for both arms and legs), ate at the top of my range, only going over by one pt twice, and I'm still so anal I weigh my cheese and dressings to the gram on the food scale.

However...my stamina is increasing with each session on the elliptical monster and my reps are getting easier. My fattyback is 99% gone and my size 16 Liz jeans are nice, loose, and comfy versus binding.

Time to plug in my weights and change my stats. I was so hoping to be rid of the 190's forever...I will be next week for certain!

2002-08-22T07:09:00.000-04:00

Mixed Feelings about September 11, 2002

(I posted this at the atheist board at babycenter.com and I don't feel like retyping and tearing up again)

So we're approaching the first anniversary of that awful, horrible day and I know we're in for a barrage of tributes, programming, newspaper accounts, etc.

I found this at Salon...

Cable channels won't program for 9/11

Aug. 21, 2002 | NEW YORK (AP) --

Eight cable television networks have announced plans to suspend programming on the morning of Sept. 11 to honor the victims of last year's terrorist attacks.

At 8:46 a.m EDT, the A&E Television Networks -- A&E, The History Channel, The Biography Channel and History International -- will fade to black. For the following hour and 43 minutes, they will show a continuous scroll of the names of attack victims.

Similarly, the Scripps Networks -- HGTV, The Food Network, The DIY Network and Fine Living -- will stop regular programming at 8:30 a.m ET.

For two hours, the networks will show "a series of images, words and music intended to inspire quiet reflection."

I'm having very mixed feelings about this. I remember being thankful, after five+ hours of constant reports that day, to catch Win Ben Stein's Money and SpongeBob to wash over the rawness I was feeling. I yearned for stupid comedies. I bawled when The Daily Show came back and Jon Stewart cried at his desk.

I understand the "why" behind this and I know we will never forget...conversely, I'm tired of it, of being constantly reminded. Granted, while watching Ground Force: New York when Alan was talking with the NYRP rep about the events, I teared up. But that was an honest, everyday man telling the events as he saw them.

Perhaps something like that, a documentary of everyday people in NYC and DC who maybe didn't loose anyone, nor did they work in the bldgs, but saw the events for themselves, would be far more poignant.

I do hope they show the French documentary about the FDNY again. THAT was powerful.

2002-08-21T10:23:00.000-04:00

Tales from the Scale...

Damn, what a trite title but I'm not feeling creative.

I weighed in yesterday...down another 1.5 pounds! Gooybye, 190's! My stay was wonderfully brief and I'll never see your sorry ass again! Grand total of 14.5 gone, baybee. Only 58.5 to go.

So I went shopping in my closet and tried on some dresses that didn't fit in June...I'm wearing one today! A denim sun dress I wore last summer that I couldn't get around my hips this summer...how depressing was that? I even got my old size 14 button-flies up to my ass...it wasn't pretty but give me 20 pounds and I can wear them again.

After lunch yesterday, The Husband and I went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to buy a new digital scale. FUCK! I weighed a solid 10 pounds HEAVIER on these damn scales! He had to remind me that I was clothed, wearing shoes, and just ate a Japanese lunch with about four glasses of water...and I hadn't peed yet. I picked out a "Thinner" and this morning, it read 1.5 pounds heavier than the old Sunbeam rotary scale...I can live with that.

Did my 30 minutes on the elliptical machine with my new K@zoo MP3 player. My endurance is building up...more calories are being burned and I'm gaining more distance and strides. Whoohoo!

So, has Kim popped?

One of my YaYa girlfriends, Kim, was being induced yesterday. She was a week overdue. She's in Germany with no family besides her husband and daughter. We're waiting for some news.

I miss her already!

Another YaYa, The CAD, is transferring. Their computer is packed up and on its way to Alaska. Friday she leaves for Toronto to take care of business. I'm going to miss the daily morning phonecalls but will be meeting her and her UberGirl in October. Can't wait!

2002-08-20T12:52:00.000-04:00

AA 1, Crazy People 0

that was the best post ive read in a while....btw...can you please tell BCHostEmmy that she is my hero? I really love her attitude!

2002-08-20T09:01:00.000-04:00

ParentCenter | BBS Message

2002-08-19T08:03:00.000-04:00

I'm fried

Oh good maude I'm so fried! UberBoy got a four hour nap courtesy of The Husband (who pissed me off because he didn't feel like going to the store, oh boofuckinghoo). Therefore, when 10:30 rolled around and The Man Show was over, he still didn't want to sleep. The Husband turned it to Iron Chef and wouldn't fucking turn off the maudedamned television. I was hoping the darkness would settle UberBoy down...not so. He was wanting to slither off the bed. The Husband was getting more and more upset with the child...yeah, whose fault was it for letting him sleep so damn long? I was at the gym, at the store, cooking dinner, while you two slept! Who the fuck are you to get pissed at me? At your son?

So UberBoy and I went downstairs at 11 PM and watched SpongeBob and The Fairly Oddparents. He settled down a bit until the King Jellyfish came to zap Kevin and the Jellyfishers. I thought we were going to camp out downstairs...on a loveseat. Oh, I was cramped. I asked him, "Do you want to go upstairs?" and he said yes. Carrying 35 pounds up stairs...at least I'm working my arms off at the gym.

Then with the hair twirling...UB is a big hair twirler. He twirls my hair and his own for comfort. I tried the security blanket and stuff animal, to no avail. So I had to put up with him twirling my hair...I think I got about four hours sleep. I feel like Kramer when the Kenny Rogers Roaster opened across the street.

We actually got our shit together this morning...until The Husband set his coffee mug on the armrest of the Passat. He was strapping UB into his carseat to go to the sitters. I was getting into the car and my elbow met with his stupid fucking mug, sending coffee onto the leather upholstery and me. I came up with a reason not to fold and put away laundry... I was able to walk on in and grab a fresh pair of chinos!

We warned our sitter that UB had five hours sleep...I'm so tired I could sit here and cry at my desk. My eyes are all grainy feeling and I'm contemplating going home at lunch. I want to sleep for the love of maude!

What is up with fundies?

There's an idiot posting at the atheist board at babycenter. Her name is "Raising2." Please feel free to poke her with large sticks and make her cry.

2002-08-18T18:50:00.000-04:00

Oh yeah...

Big love to The CAD!!! She fixed my background and made it less gaudy. Plus, there was an assload of extraneous code in the template she got rid of for me. Thanks chica! Who loves you, baby?

2002-08-18T18:48:00.000-04:00

Jimmy Neutron Is God!

We just bought the Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius DVD. UberBoy is totally enthralled with Jimmy, Carl, Sheen, Cindy, and the rest of the cast. We watched it twice yesterday and it's spinning again. And it's got wonderful atheistic undertones, especially with the aliens readying the human sacrifices (the parents of Retroville). Hehe! UberBoy even has a Jimmy t-shirt that reads, "Science is my co-pilot!"

Speaking of atheism...I caught 90% of South Park last night. Usually I love it for it's biting social commentary but this one sucked ass. Between the Catholic priests fighting for their right to bugger little boys to people shoving food up their asses and shitting through their mouths (which became an analogy for atheists spewing shit), I was, well, offended. It takes a lot to offend me. Gee, should I write a nasty letter to Comedy Central via Planet Feedback? Nah, don't think so. I'd be setting myself up for ridicule with my friends at The Sandbox!!! Hey, there's an ON/OFF switch on the TV, right?!?

Tonight...new Sex and the City!!!

2002-08-16T19:55:00.000-04:00

Oh my...it's so gaudy!

I've been playing around with blogskins and I haven't quite found one I like. And since I named it the Angry Beaver Den, I feel it should have something to do with Norbert and Dagget. I guess I could rename it the Dimsdale Journal, local newspaper for Timmy Turner and his fairy godparents, Cosmo and Wanda (oo, they're on tonight! After I get my dose of British culture from Manchild!).

Nothing much happening...The Husband got the stereo installation 98% complete on the Passat. It's got a Kenwood double-din head unit (CD-R, CD-RW, MP3), with Infinity 6.5 and tweeters. He hasn't installed the Infinity Basslink just yet...I'm afraid the windows will shatter! And then he burns a disc with weird shit like Beethoven and Twisted Sister!!! Come on, man, at least put some Ming Tea and No Doubt on for me!

Also, my ass muscles (AKA gluts) didn't kill me today! Whoohoo!

Alas, UberBoy needs me...

2002-08-15T14:10:00.000-04:00

Speaking of Nicolas Cage...

Not only did he marry Jacko's Ex, but broke up with Patricia Arquette to do it! YEEECCHH! Thats like going from Caviar to Spam! Its just twisted!

Best o luck to ya Nico! Hats off!

2002-08-15T14:07:00.000-04:00

These are a few of my many smells...

What is it with smells? I've bitched about The Husband and his garlicky belches, moaned about someone shitting on a rose bush...and then some seems to think they shat out a perfume factory! I think a woman sprayed some Chantilly (an aging fragrance) in the Ladie's...oy vey!

And then there's the co-worker who fucking bathes in Obsession, that rotten 1980's perfume. I think she goes through a 55 gallon drum a month.

During the lunch hour, someone nuked an entree...it smelled like a moth who met a halogen lightbulb.

And if I have to venture over to accounting, a ManCubic-hell across the walkway, I walk into a wall of brown stench. Four men, all farting for pleasure, I'm certain. I'm all for a great ripper but men take pride in their excessive flatulence. Ugh.

2002-08-15T13:03:00.000-04:00

Any Shred of Credibility is Gone, Nic...

Nicolas Cage - Lisa Marie Presley Nuptuals

Oh barf, gag, ick! This is the same man who, with Jim Carrey, crankcalled the Scientology Celebrity Centre...he married a raging, flaming Scientologist. Ugh. Is he, my beloved Randy from Valley Girl, going to become a thetan-freak? Go through the Purification Rundown? Ack! And come on, Elvis didn't like the loons himself!

2002-08-15T10:05:00.000-04:00

Also...

Bekah posted this message to someone else at the 50+ Board. It's a great reminder as to why I need to stick to this forever...

Okay I'm going to try to say this gently, and I -really- don't want you to think I'm being negative.

Are you really sure you're ready to lose weight?

When you choose to toss points out the window, and eat as you like, then you choose to have a week where you will not be able to guarantee a loss. You choose not to follow the program... and we cannot lose when we are off the program all of the time. If it were just once.. or just a couple of times, then I'd say that it's entirely possible that this could shake up your metabolism and give you an unexpected loss. It could happen.

But you're off program an awful lot ******* hun. We're here to help you, but we can't make you stick to the program enough to lose the weight. We can't wave our wand and show you the way to a good loss after a bad couple of days... we just can't.. or we'd do it.

I'd do it in a heart beat! I WISH I could go off program for a couple of days and recover in time for WI.... but I can't. I have to stay on this program every day untill I lose. You can either be on weightwatchers, and work with the program, and lose... Or you can be off program, and eating with your friends, and your family, and any time you want, and not lose. There's no inbetween. I wish there was... I wish I could keep eating the way I did before and never gain, and lose...

But I can't, and neither can you.

It's a choice that we have to make. I want to weigh 130 pounds more than I want to eat almost anything. I want to weigh 130 pounds badly enough to change my eating habits even WITH my friends.

I understand where you are coming from... I run with a college crowd. They stay up untill 4am... they eat chocolate like it was a food group... they go to restaurants and chow down on chips and dip, and cheese, and it HURTS to watch them eat things that I can't have. I eat with my mother on a regular basis. I'm OFTEN faced with the choice... I can eat off program.. or I can just not eat. I want this badly enough where I just ... don't... eat.

I WANT this *******. Do you? You have to make that choice... you HAVE to be honest with yourself. We can't wave our wand. We can hope that for your sake you lose something, but when you abandon the program for days you can't make it all right before WI all the time....

Please stay with us, and stay on the program. I remember gaining weight at 18, 19, 20, 21... I was THERE. I coudln't stop myself from eating what I wanted, and now I have over 80 pounds to lose. You don't have as far as I do to go... yet... but only you can make that choice.

Bekah, Dragon Princess

2002-08-15T10:01:00.000-04:00

A Good Swift Kick In The Ass...

Why the hell do I do this to myself?

My weigh-in day is Tuesday morning. I weigh at home, naked, right after I wake up. This past Tuesday I was down a pound for a grand total of 13 since 6/10.

So what the hell compelled me to step on this morning? Damnit, I'm up two freaking pounds!

Weight Watchers advocates weighing once a week and for good reason...they don't want you to become a slave to the scale.

I'm eating within points and exercising on a regular basis!!! But I need that good swift kick in the ass to remind that weight fluctuates and that I'll get a "true" reading come next Tuesday morning.

So...no more scale hopping! Add this to the long list of Things I've Learned About Myself. Grrrr.

2002-08-14T19:02:00.000-04:00

My Gluts!

Oh good maude, my gluts! They are in pain, baby! 30 minutes on the elliptical...did I try to bite off more than I can chew? I want this weight off, NOW!

2002-08-14T11:57:00.000-04:00

Im the boss, Applesause

"What's worse, the smell of garlic and margarine lingering in the air or one of UberBoy's shitty malodorous diapers? "

Its not the smell of it in the air that is so bad....its the smell of it after its been brewing with stomach bile that stinks. Anything that mixes with stomach bile stinks...no matter what hole it eventually comes out of.

2002-08-14T09:46:00.000-04:00

Holy Shit! What Died In Here?

The Husband and I carpool. Yesterday he picks me up in the 1994 Civic (the 2002 Passat is still disembowled, waiting a new stereo transplant)...good maude, something up and died in it! Holy fuck, it stank! It was a shitty/dirty smell of unidentifiable origin. Weird, because he had steamcleaned the carpets not too long ago and well, it's an eight year-old vehicle.

The Husband had purchased a Porterhouse steak the day before and reused the pineapple/soy/sherry marinade from the night before (shhh...it's a secrud recipe!). He cooked this monstrousity on the stovetop with his patented garlic powder/margarine sauce...oh, it's fucking vile.

Well, guess the smell! It was his belches. He burped and I commented, "Oh jeeze. We just drove through skunk." He laughed and said, "No, it's my burp!" and I slugged him in the arm. He kept burping all the way home, a 20 mile trip. I had to roll down the window.

Needless to say, the house reeked when we got home. What's worse, the smell of garlic and margarine lingering in the air or one of UberBoy's shitty malodorous diapers? You be the judge.

Okay, who pooped on a rose bush?

More intestinal shit.

Someone at work buys those cheapass fake Glade "air fresheners." I know the one main offender...she feels she has to spray this shit every time she walks into the restroom. Oh maude, it's fake rose scent, one of the worst, most cloying scents out there. Smells like someone took a wild dump on a rose bush. Please, I'd rather smell shit. At least it's natural. And you can hunt for corn and sesame seeds!

2002-08-13T12:08:00.000-04:00

Go, NOW!

Haul your ass over to Food TV's website and vote for your favorite Good Eats episode.

What? You've never heard of Good Eats? Alton Brown means nothing to you? Scandalous!

I know, I hear you muttering, "He's Thomas Dolby's long lost brother. Why doesn't he comb his hair? What's with the Hawaiian shirts?" But this man can cook. He gets into the science of food and he's a hell of a lot better than that damn Emeril...BAM! your ass, mother...

2002-08-13T11:28:00.000-04:00

Whoa Dude!

Elvis' offspring works in my office!

We have an intern here and I swear to maude, he's got the perfect pompadore (sp?) and sideburns...oh, his sideburns! He's got these thick, luscious sideburns that my husband could never grow. And he's got that drawl, that lazy southern drawl that sounds sexy, not slow (if you know what I mean *wink*). I have to keep myself from staring and wanting to reach out and touch his sideburns.

*sigh*

Perhaps the husband could superglue some wiggy sideburns...

2002-08-13T08:38:00.000-04:00

Stroke the Angry Beaver.

Although you didn't get to see the number you wanted, you did get to see a loss - I really wish you could have seen the magical number this week, but I think you've also made some significant discoveries about yourself this week. You overindulged, and instead of using it as an excuse for more indulgance, you used it extremely positively and still lost. You're identifing things that perhaps you can change - soy and salt. I think you're doing great.

And the muscle vs. fat argument. :)

A pound of muscle is significantly less volume than a pound of fat. It also contributes to increasing your metabolism and using fat stores to burn during exercise. There is an awkward period as you begin exercising that you begin to build muscles without significantly losing fat. Your weight can go up during this period, but you'll find that suddenly you begin to lose weight as your new burgeoning muscles begin to work more efficiently. It's pretty damn cool when that happens! :)

2002-08-13T07:10:00.000-04:00

Far Away, So Close...

Oh man!

I stepped on the scale, hoping to see that magical number, 189. Oh but no! Granted, I'm down one more pound for a grand total of 13 pounds (hurray!). But damnit, I wanted two pounds!

I know what happened...Friday night, we went to the Cholesterol Cabin and I went over by 13 points...clam strips are my nemesis. I did end the week with 14 points in the bank, making up that deficit. However, there was the movie popcorn Saturday from our ill-fated attempt to see The PowerPuff Girls and the sushi I ate yesterday (all the soy sauce). Also, I love salt on my melon, so the cantaloupe was liberally sprinkled with sodium.

Also, I started working out at the base gym. 30 minutes on the elliptical asskicker plus weight training...all equal screaming muscles! And although I'm certain you've heard the addage, "Muscle weighs more than fat!" that's complete bullshit. What it is...one pound of fat has the same mass as three pounds of muscle. It's the whole "ton of feathers, ton of bricks" argument.

2002-08-12T18:46:00.000-04:00

Oh. My. Maude!!!

Holy shit! I think Bootyyy's turned into Beavis! Coffeecoffeecoffeecoffee!

2002-08-12T16:25:00.000-04:00

Les be friends!

I need some coffee! With some Sterno in it! that would rock! I need to get ready for another day in hell...errr..i mean WORK! I cant wait to go to my job where a minimum of 27 labor laws and health code violations are broken EACH DAY! Way to go slave labor camps!
BBEEAATTCCHHH!

2002-08-12T14:24:00.000-04:00

Oh screw me!

My friend Bootyyy is an asskicker!

Here is more useless knowledge!

Did you know that Bootyyy's ass is made of 50% lard, 10% popcicle sticks, 10% robot feet, 10% cheese puffs, 10% High fructose corn syrup, 5% rat feces and 5% windex.

its true!

Please, visit her blog. Once she gets rolling, the vagina faces come out in full force.

And poor, sweet CAD...yes, put the coffee pot down, Chica. I've been on those caffeine highs...

2002-08-12T13:24:00.000-04:00

I'm in like Flynn.

And I've also had entirely too much coffee today. Step away from the coffee pot... Between the coffee and Vanilla Coke (strangely enjoyable) I've had enough caffeine to make an elephant jittery.

2002-08-12T10:48:00.000-04:00

The Hurting Continues...

I'm a part of a close-knit internet group of women. We're all military spouses from all walks of life. We're enlisted and officer wives, we're 23 to 34. We all have children...and we all have varying belief systems. Some of us are Christian, others are agnostic...two confirmed Atheists and one Pagan.

A former friend, who went through a lot of shit earlier this year, up and left. She discovered Jesus in a Pentacostal setting (she was Roman Catholic) and the "cleansing" process meant dumping her friends. We weren't Christian enough for her. After mourning the loss of her daughter and comforting her when her husband deployed...she shit on us. Then, when some mis-guided xian posts in a public forum about Atheists, she trots me out like a fucking zoo exhibit.

So her husband just got back from a six month deployment and we can't even share in the joy of her homecoming, even if it's online only. A couple of my friends are still smarting from her slap in the face and I admit, it's bugging me also. But she's dead to me...I mean, when she C&P's someone elses post about how atheists are pathetic wastes and we ought to stick a gun in our mouths...it hurts.

More later...I should be working.

2002-08-12T09:57:00.000-04:00

Testing testing 1, 2, 3

Ah, so I can link images! Way cool! I have this weird thing for Alton Brown. He's funny, cute, and the man can cook!

2002-08-12T09:19:00.000-04:00

I'm an Honourary Canadian!

Thanks to my best internet friend The Cad, I now have an Honourary Canadian Citizenship!!! Granted, I've never had a Tim Horton's donut (and perhaps I'd like donuts if I had a Tim Horton), but I'm willing to try poutine (oh cheese curds are so yummy!). I amaze Cad with my obscure Kids in the Hall references and I've seen Barenaked Ladies twice!

More later...work beckons. Shit.

2002-08-10T21:13:00.000-04:00

Oh. My. Maude.

Whatever possessed us to take our 2.5 yr-old UberBoy to the .99 Theater on base?

"The PowerPuff Girls" is playing and we had free passes from DH's reenlistment last week. What the hell, right? UberBoy doesn't cost anything. So we drove all the way out there, dumped $8.50 at the concession, and settled back with 1,000 other children.

For my childless friends toying with the thought...go to a bargain matinee of a cartoon. It'll kill those feelings.

We lasted about 40 minutes...right when I was getting into Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles. Shit. UB wanted out! He was done with the Mike-n-Ike's and he wanted to run around. I wasn't about to chase him through a darkened movie theater so I herded him out to the lobby, where he kept dashing into the men's room. Ugh.

Food Thoughts

I confess. I had 44 points yesterday. I went negative 4 in the bank. Eep! I think I paid pennance to the WW Goddesses by hauling my ass to the gym and doing 30 minutes on the elliptical. And that movie popcorn and supertanker Diet Coke! But I'm back on track...those clam strips are so good! I was able to bank 3 food and 4 APs for the day, pulling my balance back into the green. I want 189 so damn bad!

Stupid Asshole Military Wives

I told off a stupid bint in dire need of a bitchslap. Slinging gross generalizations around about enlisted members like chimps flinging shit. I guess I sould hook up that instablog feature, eh?

2002-08-10T12:24:00.000-04:00

Milly's Double Workout Challenge

Okay chica, I'm in. I'm so in that I've gone to the base gym twice and sweated my ass off on the elliptical machine!

I haven't gone to the gym since May 5, 1999. That was the day the line showed up on the HPT. I felt like crap, so tired, and I was only two weeks pregnant. I know the "experts" say one should remain physically active...my activity was walking the mall at lunch and making pitstops because I had to pee so much. I used to go during lunch but pregnancy was a great excuse to stop going.

My legs are jelly right now but I'm so close to the 180's and I want it so bad. Plus, I needed to make up for those yummy fried clam strips I ate last night.

2002-08-09T08:08:00.000-04:00

NINE TIMES?!?

I've been on WW more times than I have fingers. I'm certain of it.

I first went in 1986. My graduation dress was beautiful but a bit snug across the belly. Dad paid for me to attend meetings with a bunch of 40+ and older women...I'd never felt so freaking uncomfortable in my teenaged life. I did drop 17 pounds by June and looked very good in my dress.

I went back in 1990. My weight crept back up to 183. I was 22; I wasn't meant to be this fat. But I'd been fat since puberty sank its ugly fangs into my body and made me the second girl in my fifth grade class to have to wear a bra. I lost 33 pounds that time and I was looking great! I got engaged to an asshole sailor early January, 1991...was sporting a 1/4 carat diamond. Found out he was still married and had a girlfriend onboard ship, who he got pregnant while they were deployed.

Gradually, I quit going to meetings, telling myself I could do it on my own. By the time I met my real future husband in 1992, about 10 pounds came back. By the time we got married in November, 1992, I'm certain I was 180 again. I had a rack, baby! My boobs were clearly on display in my gown.

I know I went back to WW in January 1993 but futzed around. I didn't go back until June, 1994 and lost about 10 pounds. I met my best friend Renee in a WW meeting room. She lost 110 pounds and has kept it off. My weight went to an all-time high of 203 once we moved to Virginia.

I went again in June-July 1996. About 10 pounds again. Quit when J. came home from a five month Med Cruise.

Went again in February, 1997, with a friend from work. I started at 192. We did the At-Work meeting, using the old Breads-Proteins-Veggies plan. I got rid of 20 pounds in 12 weeks! By the time Renee got married in September, 1997, I was down to 160 and looking great. I made goal in May 1998, with a grand total of 55 pounds gone by my 30th b-day.

Forever? Hell no!

I got the Baby Fever and we conceived our son in April, 1999. By this time, Renee had transferred to Long Island. She had been my WW leader and I quit going when she left. About 15 pounds came back.

I went back in April, 2000. UberBoy was three months old and I lost seven pounds and was 175. If only I'd stuck with it then.

I tried another At-Work meeting in October 2000. My weight was back up to 192. I screwed around and never lost more than 10 pounds. I wasn't inspired...I never journalled or exercised yet kept telling myself I was on plan. Bullshit. I quit wasting my time and money in August 2001.

I guess I had an epiphany in May 2002. I'm going to do it this time! I was tired of weighing so much, and I started once we returned from Ohio. I ate like a pig the weekend before I joined and was saddened to see I was once again at my heaviest weight of 203. I joined online because I'm on the computer all day at work anyway.

This time, I'm journalling everything, drinking 100 oz of water each day, eating within my points and even banking some via exercise (walking, WATP) and eating a few under. I'm going to the gym for the first time since May 1999 (when I got pregnant). I have 24/7 inspiration from the 50+ board...big shout-outs to MillyD, Mic, Ruatcaelum, JaniK, and everyone else. I couldn't do it without this vital piece of the puzzle. Everything is falling into place, and I will reach my goal weight, do maintenance, and achieve Lifetime and do this until I die. I will be a size eight, I will enjoy life!

2002-08-09T07:06:00.000-04:00

I lost 30 minutes of my life...

While watching Shatner host VH-1's One Hit Wonders (oo, New Wave! A Flock of Seagulls have not aged well. Did I really have that LP in 1982?), we saw a commerical for "The Rerun Show." I remembered seeing an ad for it during a "Scrubs" repeat at 8:30 for NBC. The concept looks, well, odd. But curiosity got to The Beaver so we tuned in.

No! Oh please maude, pass me the icepick so I can gouge my eyes out!!! What compelled me to watch both parts? Satan? Shit! This is some stinkass TV. Only thing I can say is, they got the picture right on the Bewitched parody, the one near the first door of some boychild.

My television soul will be redeemed tonight with a fresh episode of ManChild on BBC. To hear Tony Head say "FUCK!" and have wild sex in a barn...Oh Giles!!! You're all grown up!

(Perhaps I should find out how many Points for a Killians Red. Drinking in bed ensures yummy sex dreams with Tony Head)

Non Scale Victory!

So far I've kicked to the curb 12 pounds. Think about it...12 one pound boxes of butter, gone for good. Goodbye, cruel ass. I knew ye too well.

It's been two weeks and four pounds since I've worn my size 16 Liz jeans and I'm happy to say the jeans slid up without a lot of ass wiggling and deep knee bends to stretch them out!!! I didn't have to suck my stomach in to zip them either. This is more incentive to haul my butt to the gym after work and start weight training to go along with my Couch-to-5K Challenge (hi Penelope Pitstop!!!).

More later, perhaps this weekend. Work beckons...I have my 7-11 coffee and the tunes spinning on the Nomad. Damn the end of the fiscal year!

2002-08-08T20:00:00.000-04:00

This is the true story of my weight deletion journey. I'll add when I can on a regular basis...feelings, pounds lost, neat stuff from the 50+ boards. I'll also get DH to take some pictures of my progress.

So far, I've been OP since June 10th, 2002. I've been on WW so many times...even making goal and lifetime in 1998. But the damn baby urge bit me in the ass and my son's now 2 1/2. I can no longer use the excuse "I just had a baybee!" for my fat ass and chubby cheeks.

The weekend before I joined, I ate like a fucking pig...Mexican, Chinese, Breakfast buffets. It wasn't pretty. I wanted to put my finger down my throat and hurl. I was chugging Pepto Dismal to soothe my stomach, to no avail.

In the nine weeks total I've been online with WW, I've deleted 12 pounds. That may not sound like a lot to some, but I can tell a difference. I'm not sluggish, my clothes are getting loose, and I haven't had that nasty feeling of wanting to barf. Yeah, I've made some changes...I've only been to the Chinese buffet once. I haven't eaten fast food except Taco Bell and Subway. I've tried mangoes and cantaloupe. And this time, I'm going to get this 60+ off and keep it off until I die. I will no longer be the fat girl who has three slices of pizza when it's free, or having second helpings of cake at the office. I'm going to be a MILF!